CLUCKYNESS!

The question I have been pondering is, 'why do some women namely myself but surely there are millions more that share these feelings, why do we feel so darn MATERNAL?'

Maternal feelings have to come from a higher place? If we were all reasonable women, we probably wouldn't enter into motherhood and procreation would end! I choose to believe the blame lies with our Heavenly Father (God). Reason would have you thinking 9 months of sickness and uncontrollable hormones to gain one eating, pooing and weeping gold medallist wouldn’t sound that appealing! That doesn’t seem to be the case with us unreasonably maternal women. We have one baby and feel life would be better by adding our own vomit, insomnia, hormones and all sorts of sickness and uncomfortable fatness to be blessed with another mess machine. If you think about it we or some of us LOVE these strange creatures beyond reason, beyond our own HEALTH and SANITY! 

LUCKY for the imbedded maternal feelings my Heavenly Father has blessed me with or I would not have known of the pure happiness that can be experienced daily through raising children.  So thank you Heavenly Father for CLUCKYNESS because without it, due mainly to the 9 months of torture I would undoubtedly not be on my way to a second.  And as much as I want to CURSE pregnancy, I’m sure I will remain to put myself through it.

Although right now I will continue to lie awake, a baffled insomniac mess suffering from the wiles of another pregnancy and repeat to myself ‘nothing good comes easy’.

22 Changes

Maybe I should have titled this post the life of a struggling pilot’s wife? Newlyweds in freezing tents, pregnant, baby and soaring temperatures in the outback. Our life so far has sure been an adventure.

Instead I think I will stick to 22 changes as I feel this is still very relevant. I could easily name 22 changes that have occurred in the past months, but here are just a few that caused blogging to drop down my priority list.

Unemployment, surprising pregnancy, sausage pasta & boring sandwiches, leaving our home in Mackay, North Queensland to embark on UN fun family travel to find new employment, celebrating my 22nd birthday in the Australian outback. The only good thing about the outback town of Hughenden is a Farmer Wants a Wife Farmer originated there, which lead me to think fortunately I have a husband. Included in my 22 changes I should add my non desire of living anywhere in the Australian outback. To what seaming felt like the longest journey yet we finally achieved a much brighter change, our happily ever after in Darwin, Northern Territory.

Focusing on the positive I may have to start from this week when hubby was finally awarded full time with AV8 aviation a big step of progression towards his career! (YAY well done hubby!) Anything before that may include things I remember as not so positive such as: No air conditioning (its list topper in the NT) rejection, vomit, lots of baby tears, cheap food, a day of fun at Litchfield NP but nowhere near enough to make up for the other days of extensive driving and heat exhaustion.

I guess from the past 22 changes I have experienced I have learnt, that trials are trials (difficult and not fun), they can be a reality check of what’s most important and give you a whole new appreciation for a comfortable & happy life that may be viewed by some as mundane and a bit boring. I feel blessed that we can go through trials and thank fully to our Heavenly Father come out on top. But the most important thing is you will come out of them and have your happily ever after and a few really good laughs, at least for a little while. I’m hoping that our family can at least remember that.


So welcome Darwin!! Here’s to a new journey with plenty more stories to come!

The treasurable book.

BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!


The love of books my daughter Holly has at 7 months amazes me. She is so drawn to the brightness of the illustrations that she attempts to eat books over her toys. Her recent adoration of books had me thinking about my own recent decline in the importance I allocate to reading books.


lately I have noticed many Angus & Robertson book stores closing, this is so sad. Have we forgotten what it was like as a child reading a book adorned with colorful pictures and intricate decorations. I still hold clear pictures in my mind of my favorite childhood books, I can see the fairies, bunny rabbits and magical creatures of the forest. Pictures or not the thing that fulfills my emotions most when I read a book is the ability to feel & smell the brand new or prehistoric pages, and during childhood it was too elaborate the enchanting pictures and to put my mind into the fairy tale. Can you  still remember your favorite childhood books?


So I was wondering why are book stores disappearing all over the country? The Internet? Ebooks? IPhones? Most of us use many of these devices and instead of picking up a book we are lead to our savvy Internet phones contrived with so many Apps we will never become bored. Personally Internet and video games often result in distractions for me and take away from the solitude of embracing only a book in my hand. So from now on I am going to take time out each day to unravel a thought provoking story and stimulate my senses.


So my thought for the day is to remember to fill your life with treasurable feelings that only come through a hand held book.

( Thank you Nana for the wonderful books that you give to baby Holly, it seams that she will have memories of these forever.)

Melbourne the city we love.

Melbourne the city we love.

To all those who currently inhabit the city of Melbourne you don't know what you have until its gone!

Our family recently took a trip to our home town Melbourne. From culinary geniuses to

aesthetic architecture our trip left us returning home to the small town of Mackay, NQ longing to go back to the city that was once ours.

Whenever we visit the beautiful city we make it a goal to find something yummy we haven't tried before. These were our favorite finds.

If you are interested in tasting their renowned soup infused dumplings then make a reservation. Tranquil yet impressive atmosphere, respectable service, inspiring food & inexpensive this place really does have it all! Our Favorite by far and one of the top restaurants in Melbourne. Make sure you book at least a week in advance!

Yum yum yum! Hubby and I really enjoy a good hot chocolate! Presentation can up any culinary experience and make it feel well worth your money, Ganache chocolate bar did not disappoint.

Australian Centre for the Moving Image, Federation Square. Hubby and I had allot of fun walking around the exhibits here. If you are making a day trip into Melbourne city and find your self with some free time its a great place to go. The exhibits are very interactive, hands on and generally free. Great for kids from around the age of 10 +

So to all the Melbournians out there dont foreget to explore your own city, there is so much to see and do!

(Apologies for the lack of posts! We have been  hit with dreaded computer trouble and winter sickness.)

Milestones

Recently we celebrated another one of Holly's milestones. Holly's Half yr Birthday!

There are many milestones in life we choose to celebrate, birthdays, the new year, completing high school, some people believe the bigger milestones such as these are the only ones that need to be celebrated and consider other smaller milestones as silly, a waste of time and immature. As I was pondering over the pros and cons of celebrating lesser valued milestones I couldn't come up with any cons, what is wrong with sharing our happiness & excitement every now and then, or why not as often as possible? We all know that life is no walk in the park so I believe celebrating as many milestones we come across can only brighten up our lives & maybe even give us a laugh!

As I was pondering over the past 6 months of being a mum to a new baby girl here are some of the milestones we have shared together that have meant allot to our family.

All of these wonderful steps through Holly's life from 0-6months and beyond are the reasons why being a mum is so rewarding. There are tough days, tiring days, mundane days but as you see your child grow and accomplish a new thing your heart is filled with such great happiness and nothing could ever exceed it.

My conclusion is whatever a milestone is to you celebrate it! Whether it is making it to one week, one month, six months even a year with your first boyfriend, acing a text you thought you were destined to fail, going a whole week without forgetting to brush your teeth, your boy or girls first smile, laugh, tantrum, your baby crawling, walking, eating solids, not eating dirt from the garden today, who cares revel in the happiness you feel and celebrate the milestones of yourself and those around you. The pros are many and the cons don't matter.

So here's to sharing the fun! xx

Are you insane?

Who said giving birth was magical? A wonderful experience? A blessing from God? Are you insane!

Beginning.

On the 7th of December 2010 the dreaded day of my induction had arrived. I calculated less than an hour of sleep, I was sick and petrified about what was going to take place.

Firstly you should know my husband Jess faints at that sight of blood, is there a word for that? Bloodophobic? Sissy? Who knows... Basically he turns from man to woman. So Jess my strong and endearing support person takes the first half hour supporting himself after seeing nursers messily insert a drip into my reluctant veins. Unfortunately most nursers/doctors become frustrated by my shy veins and begin poking and prodding my body like a universities mock corpse which can result in a bloody show. Regrettably no one was interested in changing the bloody vein routine for this day.

Jess gloomily scurried off to his chair in the corner of the room to recover from the first bloody show of the day which leaves me to wonder how we thought we could do this?

We arrived at the hospital around six in the morning, my waters were broken and I received the drip containing drugs to begin my contractions around six thirty. By 7am Jess' face was back to full colour and he was right by my side. I was in full blown labour, the contractions came on hard and fast and my fears became more real than ever.

Middle.

I began to try some less invasive birthing techniques to help relieve some of the pain. Okay so one thing I have learnt at this point is birth is nothing like the movies. Yes you sweat, yes you scream and maybe express some profanities in your head but it lasts a hell of allot longer than in any movie I have seen! Happy Gas what does that even do? It is not happy nor kind and it didn’t give me anything I had hoped for..

I wish I was happy I need to be clam and happy. The nurses are telling my husband to calm me down and help me to relax. Don’t you know I can hear you! I am right here! I want to curl up into a ball. Don’t you know I can’t breathe, speak or move, this is way too intense! I wanted to scream at them to shut up and mind your own business.

By 10am reason was out the window. I was hysterically crying its ridiculous I know you’re not supposed to cry I was supposed to be strong but the pain was too intense. I felt it had to stop or I was going to pass out I couldn’t do it anymore. I accepted I had been defeated and seized the epidural. Knowledge that the epidural would lesson my burden was the only way I managed to get through the following half hour and the rest of the day. The epidural arrived and reduced the force of the contractions thankfully this gave me some time to breathe and prepare for the last satge of labour.

End.

Isn’t the epidural supposed to deplete the pain... I was still experiencing allot of pain luckily it was little enough to take the edge off and get me through to the last stage, pushing her out. Ouch! Lying on the bed exhausted I couldn’t see the end and then finally the nurse came in and said I was ready to push little holly out.

OKay OKay so this part again became unbearably painful although I remember feeling so happy that there was an end in sight and no longer felt death was upon me. Then came allot of encouragement from my wonderful husband, pushing, screaming, crying and then all the sudden there she was. Our beautiful tiny girl had entered the world with a big set of lungs taking over the role of her mum’s squealing with some beautiful squealing of her own.

Our daughter Holly was 6.6 pounds and 100 precent healthy.

My husband wrapped her and brought her over to me. This moment was surreal. While being pregnant and feeling Holly wriggle around in my tummy I felt close to her, now knowing she was here in my arms as a pure and innocent child sent straight from God was a beautiful experience. I’m positive this part of birth would make the hardest of hearts melt.

After Holly was born the pain vanished in an instant. Labour was over we had succeeded with much help from my heavenly father and my awesome husband we did it!

Nearly 6 months later...

 and we have a giggly, explorative, witty, bright eyed daughter. My husband came home today to a big smile from his little girl, he turned to me and said "That’s enough to make anyone happy". So after all that I can’t help but agree with all of the other insane mums out there that Giving birth to Holly was a magical, wonderful experience and a profound gift from God.

Back to the beggining.

So I would like to take you back to the beginning...

I had been married for two years, I had recently celebrated
my 21st birthday and I was about to give birth to our
first baby girl Holly.


I had never suffered or truly understood insomnia until 2
weeks before the birth of baby Holly. There may be a scientific
reason for gestational insomnia but personally I put it down
to birth classes, unhelpful horror stories and fear of the
unknown. I was 21 and about to enter into the world of
motherhood I wanted to do the best by my baby. Little did I
know it may not be the best thing for my personal sanity.
So I read many books, searched the Internet and
discovered the practice of natural birthing. Like many
other soon to be mums I decided that anything other was
wrong, how could women use drugs, how selfish!
How inexperienced I was! So anyway I found a natural
birthing centre in my local area and committed to their
revolution.

The trouble began with my first birthing class.. My
biggest mistake. Insanity! The birthing class film
was more of a horror movie, it was detrimental to myself
and my husband. This movie was indescribable but I
will do my best to give you an idea or the horror.
Natural home births, undressed women and
undressed supporting partners accompanying
trance/hippy style music and a lot of moaning
bordering much to close to what I would refer to as
pornography. Hubby and I did not attend any further
classes.

After this event my fear began to grow. Attending
church on Sundays seamed to become my weekly
dose of horror stories. Was anyone interested in giving
me peace at night? The show and tell of the horror birthing
video and horror stories were making the whole
process of birth feel unnatural. How does the general
capacity of that particular opening on a female body
allow a baby to come out without a lot of pain, tearing
or death! Melodramatic? Maybe? But these were my true
fears.


One time I stayed up all night making a Giraffe for Holly's room.
Here's my 24 hr Giraffe...

Not long after, I was told Holly's growth was plateauing and
I would need to be induced early. This was truly horrible but
my fears had been growing towards a natural birth and every
time I thought about labour I wanted to be sick so I won’t lie
and say I wasn’t relieved that I wouldn’t be able to attend
the birthing centre any longer. At least now I would have
doctors closer by.

Unfortunately my fears did not stop at the demise of my birth
centre revolt but were quickly replaced by well being of little
Holly and the fear of induction.

Thoughts about the birth were taking over my mind and my
life. Is it my fault the baby isn’t growing? Am I a bad mum
if I don't have a natural birth? Had I been eating healthy
enough? Am I a bad mum for getting sick in pregnancy?
I had never even baby sat before! How was I going to adapt
to the role of motherhood? I had no idea what I was doing!
What was I thinking I’m not ready for this! How am I going
to cope with the pain? Am I going to die!! For the next two
weeks and until the day of the induction I got through a lot of
sitcom dvd sets, caught tonsillitis severely went from easily
sleeping 12 hours a night to averaging 2-4 hrs. Emotions were
running high. The night before the induction a melodrama
was playing in my head, I was terrified and praying please
don’t die, please don’t die!

How did I do it? My birthing story coming soon...